If It Kills Me
by heartbreak in stereo
Summary: "If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hands." Sam/Kurt; fluff.


**author's note: **Sam/Kurt, more Sam-centric. The song used is _If It Kills Me_ by Jason Mraz. I'd suggest listening to the Casa Nova Sessions version, though, because not only is that my favorite, but it's also the version that Sam plays in this. Reviews are love; enjoy!

* * *

Sam always loves a challenge.

As long as he gets what he's aiming for in the end, that is.

And getting Kurt to be with him was _definitely_ a challenge.

The boy had been put through hell and back, so Sam expected to not be trusted right away, but he didn't expect to have to be outright rejected over and over. He understood that Kurt just wanted to be friends beforehand—he was perfectly okay with that. He also respected that Kurt wasn't a fan of PDA, but he just wouldn't let him do anything—even walking him to class was difficult, due to the countertenor avoiding him like the plague randomly, despite that Sam usually was careful about overstepping the friendship boundary (with the exception of some flirting, but it wasn't only Sam throwing the flirty smiles or allowing fingers to linger when they touched).

But the time Kurt did spend with Sam, he'd never deny to anybody (especially Sam, who would occasionally ask to make sure he wasn't bothering Kurt) that he truly did enjoy being with him. Sam was a dork, yes, and would do those horrid impersonations and go on about how Star Wars is so much better than Star Trek for this reason and that reason, but every word was genuine. He let Kurt tell him all about the new Marc Jacobs line, and he even let him take him shopping (much to his chagrin), and he sat through a few bad chick flicks that ended with the main girl and guy getting together in the end (but he didn't ever complain—and it might have had something to do with Kurt's hand curling around his own, or Kurt's head resting on his shoulder throughout most of the movies).

Patience was never one of Sam's virtues. And he'd be lying if he said he was completely okay with letting this go on for much longer—he would wait as long as he needs to, but he wasn't sure how many more movie days or discussions over coffee at Dunkin Donuts he could sit through before he wouldn't be able to restrain himself from kissing Kurt and sweeping him off his feet (literally and figuratively) in similar manners to the way it's played out in all the movies they watch together.

He decides he's going to say something to the former kicker about it at the next glee rehearsal.

* * *

Mr. Schue asks if anyone's come up with a song for the week (all Sam can remember that the assignment is about was something about wearing your heart on your sleeve, which works for what he wants to do), and Sam raises his hand. Nodding, Mr. Schue takes a seat, and Sam goes for the acoustic on the stand to the side of the room. Slipping the strap over his shoulders, he checks to make sure the tuning is right, and then looks around at the glee clubbers, his gaze landing on Kurt last, who's wide blue eyes are inquisitive.

"I'm gonna sing If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz, and it's kind of my way of laying my cards out on the table for not just this one person, but so everybody can know that I'm completely sincere about what I want to say," he says, glancing over at the others, but mainly focusing on Kurt. His attention stays primarily on him as he begins to play the first few notes.

"_Hello, tell me you know,  
__yeah, you figured me out.  
__Something gave it away.  
__And it would be such a beautiful moment  
__to see the look on your face;  
__to know that I know that you know now._

_And baby, that's a case of my wishful thinking;  
__you know nothing.  
__Cause you and I, why, we go carrying on for hours on and  
__we get along much better than you and your boyfriend."_

Sam grins, strumming full chords now instead of single notes. He's looking right at a blushing Kurt as he's singing, not caring that he's practically outing himself to the entire glee club. He suddenly doesn't care if people know he bats for that team, or that he has a desire to be with the "town fairy."

"_All I really wanna do is love you,  
__a kind much closer than friends do.  
__But I still can't say it after all we've been through.  
__And all I really want from you is to feel me  
__as the feeling inside keeps building.  
__And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me."_

He sings out the chorus, a few of his fellow glee clubbers clapping or giving cheers of approval and encouragement. It never really was a secret among the club that he had eyes for Kurt, anyways.

"_Well how long can I go on like this,  
__wishing to kiss you, before I rightly explode?  
__This double life I lead isn't healthy for me,  
__in fact it makes me nervous.  
__If I get caught I could be risking it all.  
__Well baby, there's a lot that I'll miss,  
__in case I'm wrong."_

He leans in close to Kurt, practically at kissing distance as he sings the first two lines, before backing away and spinning, starting to sing the chorus again. He looks over to the frets, making sure he's getting the notes right as his personal favorite part comes up next, and also inconspicuously trying to hide the blush that's creeping onto his cheeks (it must be contagious to blush whenever he sees Kurt with color in his face).

"_If I should be so bold,  
__I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hands;  
__tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man.  
__But I never said a word,  
__I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again."_

He begins with the chorus again, getting the rest of the club to join him in singing, the couples sitting together wrapping arms around one another, singing to each other lovingly, while his gaze never leaves Kurt's. Kurt just laughs, shaking his head as he gives Sam a look that's a soft mixture of amusement and adoration.

"_And all I really want from you is to feel me,  
__it's a feeling inside that keeps building.  
__And I will find a way to you if it kills me,  
__if it kills me;  
__it might kill me."_

The song ends, and Sam's giving Kurt that boyish grin as applause breaks out. Kurt's not clapping, but he's smiling at Sam that warm, loving smile he usually reserves for when they're alone and when Sam does something cute or says something sweet.

Sam hands the acoustic to one of the band members, before turning back to the countertenor. "Well?" he asks, trying to hide his anxiety as he awaits an answer.

Kurt stands up, taking a few steps before he's standing close to Sam, who can feel Kurt's breath on his face. It takes another moment of Kurt giving him that affectionate look and the rest of the club waiting with anticipation of what will happen next, until he finally says something.

"I'm yours," he says softly, his small teeth showing in his smile.

There's cheers and claps from the others; Sam simply returns the smile wider, before closing the space between him and Kurt, pressing their lips together gently.


End file.
